I don't know the last time I was this stressed. And this has nothing to do with school work. I am applying to be a PA here at SAU and it has given me extreme, stress that EXTREME stress. I have been stressed about it for 3 weeks. Right now the application sits next to me. Filled out. And all I can do is look at it and I feel like I am about to cry. Seriously I usually don't get this stressed and I don't understand why. This is something that I really want but this is something I am really afraid of. I just want to give it all to God because I know that he has the plan taken care of but I am struggling with that. This is something that I really want to do and it is something that I know I would be good at. Plus I feel like this is something God has called me to do. Yet there are SOO many other people applying. And what gets me caught up is that they usually want juniors or seniors even thought I don't think they connect as well with freshman but that is my opinion. I am letting the whole process freak me out and yet at the same time I know these are things that I am good at. I just really don't want to be let down and as cocky as this might sound when it comes to things like this I am not really used to not receiving positions. However what really makes me mad about the whole thing is that there are a lot of people applying just because they didn't get an RA position so they figure if they can't get one they can get the other. And I don't think that is fair to people like me who are working their hardest at this one thing and to have people that have already have to opportunity to try for something try to steal my parade. no way jose. But this whole thing is making it impossible for me to sleep as it is 5 30 sunday morning. Please pray for me. ooh rough week. But Disney World was fantastic.
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