Take Me Away, To Better Days

I don't know the last time I was this stressed. And this has nothing to do with school work. I am applying to be a PA here at SAU and it has given me extreme, stress that EXTREME stress. I have been stressed about it for 3 weeks. Right now the application sits next to me. Filled out. And all I can do is look at it and I feel like I am about to cry. Seriously I usually don't get this stressed and I don't understand why. This is something that I really want but this is something I am really afraid of. I just want to give it all to God because I know that he has the plan taken care of but I am struggling with that. This is something that I really want to do and it is something that I know I would be good at. Plus I feel like this is something God has called me to do. Yet there are SOO many other people applying. And what gets me caught up is that they usually want juniors or seniors even thought I don't think they connect as well with freshman but that is my opinion. I am letting the whole process freak me out and yet at the same time I know these are things that I am good at. I just really don't want to be let down and as cocky as this might sound when it comes to things like this I am not really used to not receiving positions. However what really makes me mad about the whole thing is that there are a lot of people applying just because they didn't get an RA position so they figure if they can't get one they can get the other. And I don't think that is fair to people like me who are working their hardest at this one thing and to have people that have already have to opportunity to try for something try to steal my parade. no way jose. But this whole thing is making it impossible for me to sleep as it is 5 30 sunday morning. Please pray for me. ooh rough week. But Disney World was fantastic.

That Sister Sense

I really need to write my blog more often because a lot can happen in a week but I just can't keep up with it all. This week all I was looking forward to was the fact that I had no classes on friday. So on thursday I woke up to go do some kickboxing and my dad sent me a text message to tell me that my sister came out of surgery just fine. And I felt bad that I had slept through the morning while my sister was having her gull bladder removed. So I got up and went about my day and when it came to my two o'clock class I couldn't stand it anymore. I had thought about the fact that I had no classes on friday and I wasn't planning on going home until saturday morning because we had a floor event on friday then I decided no I am really not going to wait around for this. So I skipped my class packed up and came home. I don't know if you people reading this are close to your siblings are someone in your family there are times when you just know you need to be with them. So I went home and I was right my sister needed me on friday. My mom needed to go back to work and my dad had stuff to get done and there were things that my sister needed help with that my dad just couldn't help her with. I am glad that I was here to help her because really I love to help.

I just can't wait for this week to get done. Then we have spring break. I finally get to see my friend Kelly again whom I haven't seen since chrismas and I only get to see her for a few hours before I leave again. I get to go to Florida for 10 days and have a vacation and I am really looking forward to it. I feel a little guilty because I am not taking a missions trip like several people are but I know I will have more opportunities to do so.

And lastly a prayer request, there are a few things that are coming that are kinda big deals. After Spring Break is all the PA stuff. Pray that God's will will be done in that situation. And I am applying to work at Springhill this summer, pray that everything that is supposed to work out with that will and to give me peace about all of these things.

A Goal I Thought That Was Easy, Is A Challenge

I want to have an all 'A' semester. Not a bad goal. To me, it seemed like I was doing pretty good, only missing like 1 or 2 points or maybe even none on assignments. But that 1 point can change a grade completely when there aren't a lot of points over all. For example in my World Lit class, I do good on the writing assignments and quizzes and that's basically the whole class. Well today I looked at my grade and I have a B+. Not what I want. So I went through the assignments to see what was holding me back. We did a group quiz like three weeks ago and we got 5/10. Those 5 points are keeping me at a B+ instead of A. All of the quizzes that I did on my own I get 100% so I am going to stick to my own brain. Or there are some classes where there is one assignment and that is the whole grade. Next week is midterms and my grades are not where I want them at all. I mean I don't think I have anything lower than a B. But a 'B' is not an 'A'. I have also realized I am very competitive with my friends when it comes to grades. I like to have my piece of the pie, I like to have a subject or area that I can pride myself in and have the higher grade. But all my friends are smarty pants.