Time Gap

Well, I haven't written a blog in awhile. I guess I just forgot about it but I really do love my blog...when I write in it. If you read my blog you probably know that I am currently stationed in Miami, Florida and it feels like it is a bit of a dream. When I have been here in the past it has always been on vacation and not that this isn't vacation but I'm not just here to have fun, I am here for multiple reasons. I am mainly here to make cheddar and heal from the things that life has thrown onto my path. I have now had the opportunity to spread my wings yet still have a good nest to return to everyday. Being down here with my aunt is really helpful she is a great support system on so many levels and having my internship has really kept me going with not getting caught up in the "lazy summer mode". But now I am really working on healing or maybe even preparing for what is happening at home. Things with my parents are real bad and it is just one of those scenarios where I don't think about it all the time but when I do think about it, I think about it a lot. It seems like there is a lot of "breaking up" of homes and families right now and it's really a challenge to know that I am in that boat. It is also really weird to step back and see that so many of my friends actually haven't gone through this type of situation, and the friends that have don't talk about it or when I ask somewhat casually blow me off on the topic. So it's like my brain is in a bubble over here to the left, and my heart is in a bubble in the middle while my life bubble has already been popped and things just aren't coming together.

However, God has really opened my eyes and heart to Faith and what it means to me or having a better understanding of it. I am reading Isaiah and Matthew at the same time and I read Matthew last summer and I haven't read Isaiah before and I just see the Faith that is going on in Isaiah and of course Jesus and the people he encounters. When I read through Isaiah sometimes I find myself going through it and thinking yeah this is just another Bible story and then I stop to think about how big, and powerful and mysterious God is, it is amazing. So as I am reading through Isaiah and thinking these things and I start to think why don't I have the Faith in God that I need to have? This is telling me about God and to not have fear and to just have Faith that God is going to do what he says. So then I look at the Faith of the people that are reaching out to Jesus and have no doubt that he is going to heal them and do exactly as he has said. So I have been really trying to apply that to my life and I have been trying to do a lot of that through prayer and having Faith in what I am praying for and really believing what the Bible says about Prayer. So the first thing was having Faith that I was going to get a job this summer and I never doubt it, I trusted and had Faith because I had already prayed about it so I had to have the Faith and know God was going to come through, and He did, times two hopefully. And I have to have Faith with this job that I am doing because I have such a fear of failure but I know that I have God and his strength and I won't fail because I have faith. So also with reading Matthew and Isaiah I've really noticed the obedience, so I underlined so many parts where someone is told to do something and it says they got up and did so immediately. And I was reading about obedience and how it is something where when God tells us to do something and we don't take action right away it or just ignore it, it is disobedience and nobody wants to disobey God. Lastly, I have been learning about the power of my words. My mom and I have talked about this so much lately so I have been noticing it more and more in scripture so I have been recently examining my words and trying to choose them very carefully

It is quite the roller coaster in my brain. I'll keep you posted blog-followers.

Love,

A Lover.