Time Stinks

I don't know if I am getting anxiety about something or if something has caused this feeling but I feel exhausted. Not like I don't want to wake up for classes, like emotionally exhausted. Everyone reaches a point where they just need a break. A break from people and life and everything that follows those things. But I can't find a break. There is literally no time, not until Christmas. I am sure if I really wanted to today I could get away but I would never do that because I would feel extreme guilt because I didn't do anything in a day, so it was wasted.

I am really sick of thinking the same thoughts, or going through the motions that I do everyday and having no feeling. I have the pressure to have on the happy face, the one that everyone knows. Of course everyone has a bad day and whatever but this comes down to other things I guess. I don't really know how to say it. I am tried of people saying yea we are friends....but hardly. Or people talk to you because they have to or you have something they want. I love to work with people but they are probably the most frustrating thing I will encounter. Usually I will confront these problems with the people I share them with or confront them with the people I know care, but in this scenario what is the point in starting to change something when there is hardly any time before change is going to happen that is out of your power.

I guess the best way I can explain this is write a poem about it.....

We are all at the same place at the same time.
We can walk around with our facade secure.
While inside it is in a million pieces.
We look to the other facades,
But we can't find the glue.

We look upon each other and see the joy,
We wonder how to get it into our armor.
A beautiful smile can flash at you,
And behind it tears are pouring.

We pour the constant words to God
And what He gives us is time.
Frustrated we look to others,
All we see is the facades.

We can see others chasing something they see as real
We can see that it is all false.
But we chase the false thing as well.
And only one is sure of the chase.

But they aren't giving answers anytime soon.
We say okay we understand.
Yet we go back to the same false chase.
Confused, confused.

Time is what holds the answer.
Time is what holds the torture.
Time is what holds the happiness.
Time is what we cannot hold on to.