Education Through Imagination

I seriously can't understand the way that some people process their thoughts. I understand that everyone has a different way of doing that task and usually it differs between the genders. Today however I am puzzled by the thoughts and actions of some gals. Things happen in life that just some what create a "hiccup." Hiccups are always unexpected, you can't predict them they just happen and you have to deal with it. I think that is the best way to explain what is going on.

People challenge each other daily, thats how we work, thats how we grow. Sometimes I find it hard however to see the growth or to view a situation in the light of it being a growing opportunity. It seems to me that the challenges we face are within the areas of our life we feel most confident. Right now that is my education class and my relationship.

The hardest part I feel is the truth that I cannot control other people. I can only control myself. I am finding myself having to look at situations that seem to be a simple thing and look at them in a deep and complex way, or a new light. Each day is a challenge. I wake up every morning feeling the weight and extreme stress of the day ahead of me. The unfortunate truth is that I cannot see past the day I am living in. There are so many things that are due, people to talk to, tasks to complete, emails to send, homework to finish that I have to live hour by hour. Yet in the back of my mind the next day's stress is already looming inside of me. So when these hiccups occur my stress goes through the roof and I find myself getting lost in my day and feeling completely spent. The good news is...5 weeks until Christmas break. Praise the Lord.

Poem from September 2008

Having a view from above can change everything,
What is seen before us suddenly seems small.
A road block becomes a dot.
A person becomes a figure.
A problem becomes a leaf quickly blown away.

A new view of the things seen daily,
Makes the view wider, larger, and vast.
Observing while someone thinks they're invisable.
Watching the steady steps of confidence,
Or the slow scuffs of discouragement.

The looks of lonliness, without the knowledge of watchful eyes.
We always walk looking straight ahead.
We never think to look up,
And realize someone is watching the path you're walking.

Time

It is something that I lose track of all the time yet am completely aware of at all times. I know from day to day how much time I have to do something or get somewhere. However, at the same time my mind is puzzled and baffled at the time that is to come. I think about the future and wonder what is in front of me that I can't see yet. I feel the pressures to complete things quickly with the fear of running out of time. A year is a long time, but when you are wrapped up in things that only last a year...that time is nothing. Time is just something on my mind that I struggle with.

I think it's time for an update

Clearly my life has continued on since my last blog a few months ago. I guess now would be a good time for me to catch up what has been going on for the past 2 months. I somehow by the grace of God made it through camp this summer. Camp was something that I went into this summer thinking that it would be a breeze and totally fun, when the truth is that it was one of the biggest challenges I have ever faced. Every single day I woke up and had to rely on God's wisdom and strength. There were days when I had an amazing morning with my girls, and by the afternoon I would have to walk away from them and remind myself that they are someones child and a child of God, so I need to love them as he would. There was a week when I had a fever and still did every single activity with my campers. I had a lot of family issues this summer and I never let that stop me from teaching them the word of God. Looking back on this summer, I know that God had me there for a purpose. I learned so many lessons that my brain and heart can't even account for all of them at once. I truly started to learn what I means to rely on God, and really do Kingdom work for Him. It was amazing when there were weeks that I had the opportunity to talk to my campers about God and assist them in accepting Christ. Those were the moments that I look back on and I get a smile on my face knowing that these girls lives are going to be totally different from that moment on. I also got a taste of really spending time with kids and getting into their lives. It is helping me with discover if teaching is really what God wants me to do.

After I made it back from camp more than happy to be home, a matter of days later I was back here on campus getting into PA training. PA training was an amazing experience. I am so glad that I got to be a camp counselor this summer because in a lot of ways it helped me prepare for what I was coming into with being a PA this year. I was a little nervous coming into training and having one good friend with me. But as I soon learned being a PA was right where I belong. I already have friendships developing that are wonderful and being a PA is like something I was designed for. I love this job, its not even a job it is just amazing.

Going on to school, I am really shocked at how hard it has been for me so far, and it has only been two weeks. Last week I had a complete panic attack, no breathing, almost passed out, and was just completely overwhelmed. My classes are just a whole new world from what they were last year, and I am still trying to get into a schedule that will be amazing. Also everyone needs to get to know Jesse Spicer. Love of my life.

Children make writing a blog difficult

It has been awhile since I have been able to blog, or for that fact actually think about my own life and not if someone needs to go to the bathroom or has gotten their meds for bedtime. Being a camp counselor I guess has had it's benefits and such but it really is a difficult job. You have to be a parent to 12 kids that aren't yours, love them even though they can be annoying and spread God's word in a way that doesn't scare them. There have been a lot of moments where I have really been tested and there have been a lot more moments where I have learned so much that I couldn't be happier.

This would be my 3 week of being here and actually doing my job, but it really has seen like an eternity at times. Each day is planned out for every 15 minutes and I get 2 hours a day to myself (kinda). It really stinks when you have to wait for your break to come to go to the bathroom because you plain and simple just don't have the time. I have gotten to know about 30 girls so far and it really has been amazing. 8 of my campers ask Christ into their hearts and that to say the least was an amazing experience. Most of the time when it happened I really didn't think it was going to at all, but God was working when I had no idea. That is really one of the only things that keeps me going. I know why I am here now, God sent me here to use me as a tool so that I could do the work that he has placed before me. He has also shown me so many new things and it is SO amazing. I love everything that He is doing in my life.

We're floatin like a bubble

On monday I had a movie due back at blockbuster at noon. So I woke up early with ever intention of returning it on time. But that just didn't happen. After that I decided that there was no point to rush and get it back so I took my sweet time getting ready. I got up that morning and just really wanted to spend time with God. I grabbed my Bible and devotional and when i looked at the cover of my devotional I noticed for the first time that it says "youth devotional". So I opened it up and the first page read that this book was given to me in 2001.....7 years ago. As I flipped through the pages to the right day I saw that almost every page was highlighted and had notes and when I got to the right day it was already highlighted and when I started to read I realized that I remember this lesson. At that point I said to myself....I think it's time for a new one. I went into town to the family christian bookstore and no joke, sat in the devotional aisle for an hour. I read a page out of all of the book except 7 of them. I also prayed and asked God to help me to pick out the right one. I didn't want just an easy read with a minimal lesson. I wanted a devotional that would help me grow. After that hour I found one and I think its pretty awesome because it has a devotional for the morning and evening of each day. So it encourages you to spend even more time with God. And after a small lesson it asks specific question that apply to your life and gives you room to right. I thought it was sweet.

While I was checking out up at the registers I noticed these little Bibles just off the the side so I picked one up just to see what it was and it was just a small ESV of the Bible. Just being curious I asked the lady working how much they were, and she said they were $5. As I started to put it down and forget about it the words flew out of my mouth like I had no control that I would take one. And I was just like ummm okay. So I ended up with another Bible and I wasn't sure why. But when I was driving home I thought about why I did it. Last week at camp I would offer to read a passage at our morning meetings out of my amplified Bible and one girl was like well my translation is completely different from yours so here is what mine says. And I was just kinda like yea this version is so different because it is more for study, and it is probably going to be a lot different than the versions that my campers will have. So that was a reason a long with the fact that if I ever meet someone that really needs a Bible I will be able to give them one because it cost me nothing and its going to help someone SOOO much. So I thanked God that he had me buy that.

That night I was also hanging out with some of my friends from home and we were all over at my house and I just kept looking at my Bible and devotional and I just wanted to read it so bad. I was glad to see my friends but I really wanted to spend time with God, it was such an amazing feeling. I also told my friend all about how I got the little bible and my new devotional and she and I really never talk about that stuff because she is catholic and we never talk about it. So it was really cool that I was so bold to just say it. God is so amazing.

Two more things to share....I wrote a poem today and I just wanted to put it on here because I couldn't find my poem book at the moments. And a you tube video that I watched about 15 times today because I had a rough morning and this guy really helped make today better.

Poem....
bon ami
vous etes proche

bon ami
vous etes extreme

bon ami
vous etes vrai

bon ami
vous etes faux

bon ami
vous etes pas

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2eJlkk7nf4

Therapuddy.... does nothing.

So for the past two or three years my wrists hurt constantly and they crack SO loud...it's nasty. I have a high pain tolerance so I didn't really do anything about it, I guess I just always thought it was normal since all of my bones crack that loud. However, none of the rest of them have the pain or are as frequent as my wrist. So this spring I went to my doctor and played him the lovely sound of my wrists and he looked at me and goes "emm thats not right" and I said "yes doctor perry....I've noticed" So he told me that I needed to get an X-ray so we can see what is going on. I got the X-ray and that didn't show anything so I got an MRI and that didn't show much except the fact that my ligaments and tendons are really weak. So my doctor decided the best thing to do would be to get physical therapy. I just kept thinking seriously what is that going to do because moving them hurts and every activity I did in high used my wrists and that made them strong. So I listened to my doctor seeing that he has gone to medical school and went to physical therapy.

So I went and my physical therapist took all the these measurements and whatever and she just sat there for a second and asked me for the like 4th time, "you don't take any pain medication for this?" and I was like no I just deal with it. And she was like I really don't know how you do it. So she started to explain to me what is going on the cracking she believes is from a little bit of them grinding on one another because there isn't enough ligament support there. Then she told me that this physical therapy really isn't going to do much. And I just sitting there thinking...I was right. She told me we can strengthen the muscles that are in my forearm but besides that there isn't much she could do. So she told me about prolotheraphy where you get injections in your ligaments and the make them bigger so they can support better. And I was like well that is going to hurt a little bit. And she told me out get like 10-15 shots in different spots like 5 times. I was like okay yes, maybe something that can help. Debbie Downer point- its like $100 each time and insurance doesn't cover it at all. So that is like $500 out of pocket. ouch. So my therapist gave me some exercises and a deep tissue massage on my arms. Then I got this stuff called therapuddy which is just silly puddy. But so far...no changes.